Kitten Killer: I am NOT a criminal

Eden 2006

Today I’m pulling out a post from 2005 when Eden aka The Bean aka Beanie (and too many more nicknames to list) was two and a half. I realize I run the risk of re-opening charges against me, but I think it’s worth it.

The Bean is a very nurturing sort of girl. Out of nowhere, and I really mean nowhere, she can fashion a baby. She gets all quiet and soft and either cups her hands or crooks her arms to cradle – anything, I am talking paper clips, pieces of fuzz or nothing at all.

Yesterday Paul and I were painting the dining room ceiling and Beanie kept us company. She was being a kitten which involves lots of meowing, crawling and a good bit of licking or licking sounds. I looked over and she was on her side and her arms were circled in front of her. She had an earnest expression. I knew what was coming.

“I am the Mother kitten.”

“Oh really. What are your kittens’ names?”

“Uh…Kiko and Niko”

“Oh that’s nice, rather Japanese.”

I continued to paint and she continued to fawn on her imaginary offspring.

“Axcelly I had more kittens. I had five, but now I have two…You did it.”


“You did it.”

“What did I do?”

“You died them.”

“I did not!”

“You did.”

“No, I didn’t…kill them.”

You did…kill them.”

“I would never kill your kittens!”

“You did it.”

Fortunately, we were distracted from this interminible argument. Now we all know I did not die those three imaginary kittens, but if you think the mere accusation isn’t hanging heavy on my conscience, you’re crazy.

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